


Lying

by author_abz



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: M/M, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-13
Updated: 2010-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-12 02:58:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/author_abz/pseuds/author_abz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kendall has some owning up to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lying

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't meant to be a serious fic, but as these things are wont to do it became a legitimate thing.

Kendall would be lying if he said it all started when Logan sat on his lap the whole ride from LA to San Diego. It didn't help, but it's not where it started. He was just a lot better at denying it before. Now Kendall can't really think of anything else but Logan, and his dimples and his social awkwardness and just thinking about his smile makes Kendall a little weak at the knees.

Before the ride, before Kendall had every opportunity to put his hand anywhere on Logan, before he served as a pillow for Logan's nap, before he could nonchalantly, without admitting even to himself that he was breathing in Logan's scent, and practically nuzzling Logan's hair. Before that ride, Kendall was fine, and he was dating Jo, and he had some hormones and he and Logan are really close friends and have been for years. So of course Kendall laughs (and maybe it warms his heart just a little bit) when they sit together on a plane and Logan makes faces at the baby in front of them and looks disappointed when his or her mom turns them away for napping or feeding. 

Not to mention Logan is a genius and it would be a crime not to utilize it, it would be ridiculous not to watch him back flip and make sure it looks good for their performances. And if Logan needs help, needs advice, Kendall can give it to him, he knows what's good advice and what's bad. Kendall knows Logan really well, and so it doesn't really matter that he speaks for him, because it is what Logan wants.

Except all of that might be total bullshit, because there was maybe a little voice in the back of his head telling him that he was a big fat liar.

And Kendall can't help remembering every time Logan got scared, even when he was embarrassed about it, how he would come to Kendall. And Kendall could calm him down, and reason with him, make him see logic. Kendall knows he loved feeling needed, and he loved comforting Logan.

It was a really enjoyable car ride, so Kendall's actually really okay with the idea of not being able to lie to himself anymore. Kendall's problem is that Logan is always around him and he can't think very clearly about anything, and he keeps wondering, and daydreaming, and really dreaming not just about Logan (and his hot, hot body, or touching it, or kissing every inch of him) but about what he could say. Normally these sorts of things solve themselves when he and Logan just look at each other and know what they're really saying. But Kendall's really afraid to try that. Actually, that's a lie too, because he tried it without knowing it on more than one occasion and instead of Logan getting it, he smiled back, face full of dimples and he could only get really embarrassed back.

And a few intense dance rehearsals later (when Kendall really couldn't stand looking at Logan all drenched in sweat and smiling happily at him, and he had to excuse himself for the bathroom for some relief), Kendall realizes what an idiot he's being. That, and the fact the night before he caught himself sniffing Logan's pillow for at least five minutes. He doesn't really want to think about that, even though he had a good reason in the first place. (He didn't pick it up to sniff it - he picked it up to move it, and it passed close to his nose, and he doesn't remember too much after that.) 

But he's Kendall Knight. He rushes the puck and scores. He's not afraid. He can do anything. He convinced Gustavo to make them into a boy band and to change the name and song and he can do anything. 

At least that's the lie he tells himself long enough to pull Logan out of the living room and into the hallway, not to tell him anything, but to let go and kiss him. Lucky for him, by the time he remembers that this is his best friend that he wouldn't trade for the world and won't risk losing - Logan blinks a few times before he smiles and kisses him back.


End file.
